Sunday, May 9, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Racism - Do we "get" it?
I have been feeling kind of fired up about race relations recently, after reading about a white racist gang at a High School in the Madison area. I hope by sharing my journey, I can be part of the solution, not the problem.
As many of my readers know, we began our adoption journey to Michael in 2003. For those of you not familiar with adoption, there is a lot of parent training and preparation involved prior to placement. If you are open to adopting a child of another race or ethnicity, that training includes cross-cultural training. This training is intended to prepare you for what you might encounter as a cross-cultural family, and to give you an idea of what it may be like for your child to be in your family.
I was resistant, and I didn't get it. Michael was home a year before I realized this. As a person who grew up in largely minority portions of a large metro area, I thought I knew what was going on in the world of race relations. I thought that because my friends and family of color didn't talk to me about racism, that it wasn't happening to them. I truly beleived that the US had done a lot of healing in the 15 to 20 years that preceeded my high school experience. I thought that white priveledge was a thing of the past.
I was wrong. I can pin point just the time that I realized that. As cross-cultural parents, Pete and I have continued to focus on learning what it would be like for our children as they grow up in a race concious society. To that end, we have attended far more training than what is required by the adoption agency. It was at one of these sessions that I finally got it (or at least understood better than before). I let myself hear the adoptive mom's stories of racism that she and her children had faced. Not before my time, but now, recently. I let myself hear her story of being attacked by a druggie in a church, in a minority neighborhood, and that the police had to be called multiple times only to respond when they were informed a white woman was being attacked. I let myself look through the eyes of the minority room mate on an episode of "The Real World" that she shared, and understand that a white man would have been handled differently by the police, and see that the room mate's white friend clearly didn't get it.
If there is a part of white priveledge that we can give up, it would be ignorance of racism. This is when I gave that up. It is a white priveledge because people of color don't have that choice. People of color can not choose whether to be a victim of racism, just as victims of other aggregious acts don't choose to be victimized.
I am going to ask a very special favor of all the readers of this blog. Readers of color, please share your experiences of racism by commenting on this post. I moderate the blog comments, so your stories won't post immediately. I intend to keep this a safe place for you to share, and will reject disrespectful/hurtful comments. White readers, please allow yourselves to open up and hear, without pre-judging, stories of racism posted. Remember, each of us experiences life differently. You may have to try to view stories through the tellers eyes to understand where they are coming from.
Thank you, in advance, to everyone who chooses to participate.
As many of my readers know, we began our adoption journey to Michael in 2003. For those of you not familiar with adoption, there is a lot of parent training and preparation involved prior to placement. If you are open to adopting a child of another race or ethnicity, that training includes cross-cultural training. This training is intended to prepare you for what you might encounter as a cross-cultural family, and to give you an idea of what it may be like for your child to be in your family.
I was resistant, and I didn't get it. Michael was home a year before I realized this. As a person who grew up in largely minority portions of a large metro area, I thought I knew what was going on in the world of race relations. I thought that because my friends and family of color didn't talk to me about racism, that it wasn't happening to them. I truly beleived that the US had done a lot of healing in the 15 to 20 years that preceeded my high school experience. I thought that white priveledge was a thing of the past.
I was wrong. I can pin point just the time that I realized that. As cross-cultural parents, Pete and I have continued to focus on learning what it would be like for our children as they grow up in a race concious society. To that end, we have attended far more training than what is required by the adoption agency. It was at one of these sessions that I finally got it (or at least understood better than before). I let myself hear the adoptive mom's stories of racism that she and her children had faced. Not before my time, but now, recently. I let myself hear her story of being attacked by a druggie in a church, in a minority neighborhood, and that the police had to be called multiple times only to respond when they were informed a white woman was being attacked. I let myself look through the eyes of the minority room mate on an episode of "The Real World" that she shared, and understand that a white man would have been handled differently by the police, and see that the room mate's white friend clearly didn't get it.
If there is a part of white priveledge that we can give up, it would be ignorance of racism. This is when I gave that up. It is a white priveledge because people of color don't have that choice. People of color can not choose whether to be a victim of racism, just as victims of other aggregious acts don't choose to be victimized.
I am going to ask a very special favor of all the readers of this blog. Readers of color, please share your experiences of racism by commenting on this post. I moderate the blog comments, so your stories won't post immediately. I intend to keep this a safe place for you to share, and will reject disrespectful/hurtful comments. White readers, please allow yourselves to open up and hear, without pre-judging, stories of racism posted. Remember, each of us experiences life differently. You may have to try to view stories through the tellers eyes to understand where they are coming from.
Thank you, in advance, to everyone who chooses to participate.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Charter, actions speak louder than words.
Charter Communications commented on my last blog post. I was encouraged to contact them, for assistance with my issue. The thing is, I really have no faith that Iwon't just be irritated more. I looked back at the last bill I received from them, which they insisted on the phone that they didn't bill me for the equipment that I had returned as part of the balance due. They quite obviously did. So now I know that I can expect them to lie to me, too.
Charter, I am free of you. I am choosing not to allow you to aggravate me further.
Charter, I am free of you. I am choosing not to allow you to aggravate me further.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
I knew cancelling Charter seemed too easy........
After putting up with Charter Communications for several years, and several poor customer service experiences, I should have known it was too good to be true when cancelling seemed almost pleasant.
When I cancelled, I was told that we had 2 weeks to return the receivers. We received a bill 2 weeks later that included a charge for the receivers which we had returned 1 week after cancelling. Well within the window. I called Charter, and they had to "track down" the equipment which they did, and advised they would remove from the bill. I requested that a new bill be sent because I wanted to ensure that the receivers were indeed removed from my account.
Fast forward to one or two weeks ago, I haven't received anything from Charter. So I accessed my account online to try to pay, but the system appeared to be unavailable. On to today. I open yesterdays mail and open something I initially think is junk mail. I look closer and see that Charter has sent our account to collections. WTF!! I was/am so angry. Is it too much to ask for a CORRECT final bill? Apparently for Charter it is. I called customer service, which was a pointless waste of time.
Maybe I should send Charter to collections for the time our service was out for 4 days and our account was never credited........
When I cancelled, I was told that we had 2 weeks to return the receivers. We received a bill 2 weeks later that included a charge for the receivers which we had returned 1 week after cancelling. Well within the window. I called Charter, and they had to "track down" the equipment which they did, and advised they would remove from the bill. I requested that a new bill be sent because I wanted to ensure that the receivers were indeed removed from my account.
Fast forward to one or two weeks ago, I haven't received anything from Charter. So I accessed my account online to try to pay, but the system appeared to be unavailable. On to today. I open yesterdays mail and open something I initially think is junk mail. I look closer and see that Charter has sent our account to collections. WTF!! I was/am so angry. Is it too much to ask for a CORRECT final bill? Apparently for Charter it is. I called customer service, which was a pointless waste of time.
Maybe I should send Charter to collections for the time our service was out for 4 days and our account was never credited........
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A Good Reason to Moderate Comments.........
Someone (or automated program) tried to post a "no prescription pharmacy" link on my blog. REJECTED!!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Michael.......
As I got ready for work this morning, I found myself gazing at Michael (as I often do when he sleeps, I love that peaceful look). Today, I couldn't help but focus on how much he has grown & changed. He is no longer the baby boy I have spent hours snuggling with. Not the toddler learning to walk. Not even the pre-schooler learning to swim. He is a full fledged "big kid". Little brother, and all.
This morning, I was filled with the emotion that comes with the realization the the precious baby years have passed. And pride in the person he is becoming. He has experienced many changes through the summer, including two biggies: a new baby in the house, and kindergarten. While I will greatly miss "baby" Michael, I look forward to what is in store for him. I occurs to me today that raising kids is like getting a present on a regular basis. Each day, week, & year holds a surprise gift in the form of growth, accomplishment, learning, and caring. All of this, along with some outside influence, will determine who and what our kids will grow up to be. The ultimate surprise........
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